Friday, July 29, 2011

Grocery store etiquette? Really?

Do I really need to go there?  I think so! 
Somedays I am more easily annoyed than others.  People's stupidity and lack of consideration just piss me off.  I can't help it. 
Let me start by saying, excuse me.  Why?  Because if you don't know that phrase, then the look you give me when I'm looking at a product label doesn't make me move.  I can't hear a look.  Open your mouth and politely ask me to move my cart and I'll be sure to move my ass out of the way.  Personally, I always try to hug the aisle so that people don't need to ask me to move, but I understand that my cart is probably going to block what it is that you're looking for.  Most days my ESP works fine, but with all the craziness a grocery store can bring, verbally being kind usually works best.
Do you need air conditioning?  Yeah?  The freezer aisle is not the place to get it.  Standing there with the door open, checking out the frozen dinners and wondering what's for dinner while sucking all the cold air out that you can possibly get while you contemplate salsbury steak over that great tasting fake thanksgiving dinner, get the f*ck out of my way!  I just need some vegetables!  Oh wait - I forgot my first rule:  Excuse me, please!  Go to the refridgerator aisle where everything is wide open and stare at the yogurt for a while.  There's lot of choices there to keep you cool.
The fresh breads.  Ahh that aroma!  Mmmm a carboholics dream.  My kid's breakfast.  Keep your hands off the fresh bagels and use the wax paper that is clearly provided to you.  This isn't the produce section.  Don't squeeze for freshness.  I can't wash your cooties off my bagel when I get home.  
Finally my biggest peeve.  This one could be the biggest.  Self check out.  If you don't know what you're doing, don't use it.  Seriously.  Especially if you have a lot of produce and bakery items or alcohol.  You slow me down and I don't appreciate it. 
Then there's the store person that is supposed to be standing there if any issues arrive (yes, I've had the occasional coupon that does not want to cooperate) but she's usually at the customer service desk talking to her bestie.  Please, please, please, don't think that you're helping me either when you bag my groceries!!  If you don't know by now that soap does not go in the same bag as sugar or flour, you're stupid and should be fired.  Cold goes with cold.  Boxes go with boxes.  My milk does not need a bag.  You're not helping and I really can bag my stuff faster than you.
On that subject, while I'm bagging, a note to the next customer on line.  DON'T BE IMPATIENT.  You know I'm working my ass off to get out of your way.  Wait for my eye contact with you to give the heads up nod that it's okay with me for you to start scanning.  Anything before that is just rude.  I don't care if you're only scanning one thing.  Patience is a virtue and if you can't abide by that, you're an idiot.
Ahh, I feel better getting that off my chest.  I'm leaving for the grocery store in an hour.  Do you think this will make it around the world in time for everyone to read it??

post signature


Erin said...

Hah! I have to confess that once, in the middle of a hot flash, I stood in front of the freezer door with it open for a minute. It was either that or melt in a puddle of sweat on the floor!! Your post made me laugh! :0)

Keesha said...

I too am fascinated (in a horrified way) by people's constant rudeness. Love the one about people staring at you instead of simply uttering the words "Excuse me."

Thanks for friending me at Voiceboks.


Kathy said...

Ah, yes, it is a pain when the old ESP is shot and you fail to get the signal. Grocery stores do seem to bring out the best in people don't they!! Just so you know, I never go to the self check out aisle and I never will, you can shop with confidence in that knowledge that at least on person on Long Island knows when they are not up to the task!!! Have a great weekend, and I will stay out of grocery stores in your area!!! Much love!!

Sandra's Fiberworks said...

Sounds like you hate food shopping as much as I do; and Im also from Long Island! New follower here from blogfarm!

Post a Comment