HAPPY 100 TO ME!!
Oh, hi there! Allow me to introduce myself – my name is DG and I have a blog called Diary of a Mad Bathroom. And while I know that we just met, I’m going to let you in on a little secret – nobody ever asks me to guest post. Shocking, right? In spite of my long and spectacularly lackluster blogging career I have only ever been asked to guest post once before. So this makes today’s guest post, over here at Thoughts From This Mom, number TWO! Thanks to Wendie for taking a chance on an unknown kid!
Occasionally, I wonder what it is about me that would prevent these invitations from being extended. I have opened up my blog to many guest posters over the 2.5 years of my blog’s existence, offering them a platform to share their thoughts on cranky teenagers, abysmal family car trips other real life delights.
Now, I could talk myself into thinking that my lack of invitation is due to my fabulosity being far too intimidating for the average blogger and that they simply can’t handle this jelly, but that would be a ridiculous notion, even for someone as delusional as me. I could also surmise that I am probably not a good fit for most “Mommy Blogs” because my acid tongue and potty mouth could scare the fish away. Or maybe I just suck. I mean, I do write about knotted cat anuses and an obsessive love for Bobby Flay pottery. Not everyone’s cup of tea.
You would think that having all of this non-guest-posting time on my hands would allow me the opportunity to build an arsenal of guest posts, just waiting to be unleashed on a new reading public, but no, that would be far too practical and optimistic for me. So, what ends up happening when I finally get my big invite – I am suffering in the suffocating in the claustrophobic grip of my worst dry spell, ever. Yes, the inevitable appearance of the heinous three headed monster known as writer’s block has taken up residence in my castle. Sweet timing, huh? It’s a helpless feeling, like when the UPS man shows up with an important package that requires your signature and you are trapped on the toilet suffering the vengeance of a 7-11 bean burrito.
So what can I do to offer you some sort of evidence that I was possibly worthy of this invite? Do what any sidelined athlete or washed up Hollywood hag would do – go to my highlights reel. Here are a few of my favorite posts from days gone by. Have fun and please do stop by my place. Although I haven’t posted since April 15th, I am working hard to clear my mental constipation.
Oh, and I was wondering. . . do they make prune juice for the brain? Because right now, my cranium is more backed up than a geriatric on an all rice and cheese diet. Any suggestions would be welcome as this brain cramp is killing me.